I meditated on the Hindu god of destruction yesterday. Having recently gone through personal trauma, I had noticed that I’d come to a crossroad; a pivotal point in my personal development that I was not yet ready to take. I had been fighting it for a while, only recently aware of this pattern of behavior that had limited me throughout my entire life. And while my conscious mind was telling me that I was ready to let go of the past and walk bravely onto my new path, I was flooded by the familiar fearful dialogue of my subconscious. I felt stuck, as if in quicksand, unable to move either forward or back. Panic began to take over my physical body as the two opposing forces in my mind battled for my acknowledgment.
What’s Holding You Back?
It’s Probably The Same Thing That Was Holding Me Back!
Turning my focus from the external to the internal has worked miracles for me, and yesterday the focus of my meditation practice turned to the energy of transformation, as I tried to facilitate and accept the changes upon which I was embarking. There is always an element of “death” in all change, and the energy of that destruction is extremely powerful, for it is also the energy of creation.
So many of us are conditioned to be resistant to change. While we acknowledge its inevitability, we avoid much of it because we know it will bring pain or turmoil. As in my case, I had been avoiding this change for my entire life, succumbing to the fear of the pain that would come from meeting it head-on. I chose to ignore signs of its inevitable arrival, grinding my heels firmly in my familiar (yet illusory) ground, keeping myself from progressing on my life’s true course.
I chose to remain stagnant and stale, suffering in a self-imposed state of paralysis.
The interesting thing is that it showed! It permeated into every part of my life. When I was bound by my fears, I became physically, mentally, and emotionally “heavy”. My physical movements were hindered by blockages in my muscles and joints; blockages that had manifested from the toxic energetic exchange I was perpetuating. These blockages showed up in my relationships with myself and with others. My dreams and goals were limited and uninspired. I lost my connection with myself, my sense of purpose, my sense of grace.
To meet my despair head-on, I meditated on the omnipresent energy of death, destruction, and transformation, and something amazing happened. My mantra took me out of my external reality and out of my grief, where I could come to face the false beliefs to which I clung. A feeling of peace began to permeate my consciousness as my stagnant energy slowly gave way to the energy of creation. I felt my body begin to move with the powerful vibration, and I was overcome with joy. This is the work of yoga; when the lessons learned from time on the mat seep deep into the layers of one’s being, and become absorbed into the psyche. This is where true learning happens, and where one’s full potential is realized.
What brilliance, to pay homage to the destructive aspect of the divine!
In the Hindu tradition, God is a trinity of energies, one of birth and creation, one of sustainment, and one of death and transformation. Science tells us that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but rather transformed from one form to another. How comforting and powerful to connect with this wisdom, this power, and possibility! For when we are grieving or scared, we become stuck. We stay firmly rooted in what was or is, instead of contemplating the possibility of what is to come. If we can contemplate the vastness and power of the energy that is our life force, we connect with the blissful realization of what is possible, and that this energy resides in us all.
Is fear keeping you from moving bravely on your life’s true path?
Why not let your yoga practice help you find out?