In this post I want to address what can be an uncomfortable topic, protecting your kids from narcissists. It’s uncomfortable, but an important thing that we need to face.
Maybe you think that you’re shielding your child from narcissist abuse?
So did my client…
She did everything and spared no expense or resource, including thousands of dollars on therapists, evaluations and weekly therapy sessions, medications, IEP’s, and executive functioning coaches. She consulted with other therapists for additional opinions.
But her child’s grades were still falling. He was sad, angry, and becoming violent. He was losing friends and himself in his isolation.
She thought she was going mad. For years she would ask herself, “How can I be throwing so much time and money into something without having ANY kind of a significant outcome?”
The answer was simple. She had to get away from the abuse.
It hadn’t dawned on her that staying in her relationship was actually harming her son, and how awful the damage was. If she didn’t do something drastic to help him, he would be doomed.
I know of so many women who quietly bear their pain in order to keep the family dynamic intact for their kids. You think you are protecting your kids from narcissists, but really the opposite is true. Most of my clients mistakenly believe that their children are not affected, or that the old adage “kids are resilient” holds true. Or even worse, they are told that their child’s behavior is attributed to some type of childhood psychiatric disorder. Really?
Here’s the real truth: Domestic emotional abuse affects everyone, especially the very young. We know with absolute certainty that stress REWIRES the human brain at any age. So can you imagine what it does to a brain that is in the state of being programmed for life?
“Children who are victims of narcissistic abuse often perform poorly academically, act out, and develop behavioral and/or substance abuse issues. Instead of receiving proper care and treatment for abuse, these children are identified as ‘behavioral problems,’” says Bree Bonchay, LCSW in her article entitled:
Everything changed the moment she realized that her son’s healing was in her hands and that they could walk that journey together. Her healing became his. Her understanding became his awareness. Her strength became his voice. Her patience became his space. Her acceptance became his surrender. And her surrender? Well, that became his transformation.
Making healing a priority can catapult one to a place of peace. No more therapy. No more medications. No more anger, frustration, or sadness. No more sleepless nights, wondering how bad tomorrow will be. Instead, life is lived simply; in joy, health, and gratitude.
Isn’t it time you did the same for your children? Taking charge of your healing may just be the greatest lesson, the greatest gift, and the greatest legacy that you can give them. Would you like to talk about how I can help you? Then book a FREE slot today.